2005-08-09 - 11:54 p.m.
So I'm sitting here pretty fucken stressed out because all I ever do is work, work, work, work, motherfucken work! Yea my life may seem to be so much fun from the outside looking in, but you have no idea just how much work I have to put myself through just to get there! NO IDEA! All I ever do is work. Sometimes I work so much that I will just randomly cry just because that's the only time I feel my body and mind will relax. I believe in what I do so much that I just can't stop working...it's pretty insane. It's all about blood, sweat and motherfucken tears for sure! I am not complaining though because I love what I do and that is WHY I work soooooooo motherfucken hard for it....because I do love what I do.
Anyway...this entry is not about how hard I work though....that was just an intro. This entry is about my so called, "FRIENDS" who take advantage of me. Let me tell you fuckers something. When I am somebody's friend......I swear to fucken God I will go out of my way and bend over backwards for you! I would do anything for you anytime, anywhere, anyplace....ANYTHING! I will die for you if you wanted me to! That's just how passionately loyal I am to my friends because I am a TRUE friend. That's why I don't have many "FRIENDS" because most just aren't worthy of that kind of loyalty. I am a cancerian keep that in mind.....
It just really pisses me off that a lot of my so called, "FRIENDS" take advantage of me and think that I don't know it...just because I'm always nice about it they think I don't know...but I fucken know. I keep that shit in my heart and I will fucken remember. They think that just because I have all these projects that I'm working on and am successful that I am some kind of ATM machine. They just think that I work my fucken ASSSSS OFFFFF and cry myself to sleep because of how stressed I get sometimes that I do all that just to fucken have them treat me like and ATM MACHINE???? You know what I say to that? I say...FUCK YOU! One of the reasons why I work so hard also is so I can make all of my dreams come true and be able to share everything with my friends. I want everyone around me that I love to be able to enjoy life and live in paradise because growing up I had NOTHING! So I want to share everything with my friends.....But then they start taking advantage of you and using you....Then you really feel betrayed. Nothing is worse than a FAKE friendship!
You look back and remember all the fucken times I was there for you and did so much for you! I NEVERR EVER asked for anything in return because I thought that's what friends are for! EVER! I shared everything that I had with you and tried to involve you somehow in all of my projects because I thought our friendship was worth more than just money....but in time I noticed how you just "EXPECT" me to always do shit for you. Fuck you go to hell! I don't need to "PAY" you to be in my life. Just remember that I did everything I did for you because I am a good person...but you've crossed the line and took advantage of it....now you can fuck off. Don't ever ask me for jackshit ever again! You'll realize when I'm gone what a great friend I was.....and trust me....finding good people that you can rely on and trust out here in KL is a fucken rare thing! I AM NOW CLOSED! Come back never! And for the very few friends of mine that are actually my true friends....ohhhh how much you will be rewarded because that's how much I love you just because you are true to me! You will have the world I promise....just wait and see.....
